Weight of the World

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Weight of the World

        According to Greek mythology, Atlas was a fought with the Titans in the war against the Olympians.  After the defeat of the Titans, Zeus punished Atlas for his participation in the war by assigning him to stand at the edge of Gaia (the Earth) and hold up the sky on his shoulders.  As time went on, the story of Atlas took on different shapes, till the most common depiction of him holding the Earth on his shoulder was formed.  It is that image, that most of us think of when we think of Atlas.  We picture this God of a man, standing there, larger than life, his arms upward, while the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders, for all eternity. 

        When I started this blog, I wanted to show and share what it is truly like to be an independent author. Right now it feels like I have taken the place of Atlas, I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders right now.  I haven’t gotten a full nights sleep in the past two weeks, I’ve been having a hard time eating, and every time I sit down to relax, my mind goes in a hundred different directions. The main reason for this is that I am getting ready to launch another book.  It is during these final days before launch, that I am overworked and overstressed, trying to get everything finished and lined up so I can get the book to publishing.  Because I am an independent Author/Publisher, I am basically a one-man operation, thus I have to be the author, the publisher, the marketing director, PR department, customer service, IT tech.

        This time though, there is so much more on the line, my entire dream, my business, and my future are all basically at risk this time.  Due to an unseen and unpredictable financial hit, I am forced to put all my eggs in one basket, if I am to save my writing career.  I have devised a plan, a giveaway of sorts, in an attempt to promote sales of my three books.  This includes giving away a rifle as well as a custom designed knife.  I am hoping that this giveaway will be the spark needed to get things back on track and moving forward because there is so much more I want to do.  However, if it doesn’t, then I will be forced to shelve my writing career for a bit. 

        Failure has always been my biggest fear and still is.  Now, as I sit here, about two weeks away from the big launch, fear has all but paralyzed me.  It’s not just fear of personal failure, I’ve done that enough to be able to handle that.  It's the failure of a father and a provider for my family.  I left a good job, with good benefits and good pay, to go off on my own.  I thought I had thought of everything and had it all covered.  Now, I feel the weight of responsibility crushing me.  It’s difficulties, such as the one that has come at me, which separates the successful from those who are not. One thing is for certain though, I am not giving up.  I am going to fight for my dream, for my family. As a father, I have made a promise to my kids, to always be there for them and to always provided.  Just because life gets difficult, doesn’t mean I give up on that promise.  If I am going to lose my company, my dream that I have had since I was 8 years old, I’m going to lose it swinging.  I’ve never been one to go calmly, and I am not going to start now.  Following your dream, and being your own boss can be difficult at times. However, the reward of such endeavor is so worth it.  It is times like this, that I am reminded, that if it was easy, everyone would do it. Do you have what it takes?